90 / Consciousness and the Absolute
M: Don’t even accept the concept that you have to do anything.
Q: What should I do with the pain? M: The way it has come, it will go. Q: Have I to becume idle?
M: Jump about! You understand what I say but you are afraid that whatever so-called knowledge you have collected is being devalued. Krishnamurti said whatever he has said, very rightly, but do you assimilate it thoroughly? Whatever Maharaj tells you, you try to absorb it through concepts.
June 10, 1981
Questioner: When I meditate I fall asleep. What can I do to overcome that?
Maharaj: Don’t raise this problem at all with me. You are in the three states, the waking state, deep sleep state and the knowledge you are, so why are you dealing with the state which you are not? Why are you interested? It is spontaneously happening. You have to understand that when you are being stabilized in a state prior to waking state, deep sleep, prior to words and even prior to consciousness, something happens in your body state without your doing it. Leave it alone. Don’t ask questions about that. You are on this side and if something is happening, why are you worried about it? Be yourself. If you are yourself, you need not worry about what is happening at the other end. You are interested in your experiential state. There are so many experiences; such as, I saw blue light, I went up, etc., don’t tell me all those things. Be yourself and not the experiences. This is also a temporary phase and you are giving it undue importance by saying, “Oh, it is something!” It happens naturally.
There was a gentleman who came to me and he told me he would start crying and sobbing for about 10 minutes when he meditated. He thought it was a very great thing that happened to him in the process of Self-realization. What is the point of getting excited and saying, “Oh! I started crying!” So what! You are not the one crying, you are not your emotions, are you? So many people come to Maharaj to tell him of the spiritual experiences which they have undergone through meditation, just to show people, “I am something!”
When you fall into sleep, be alert and remind yourself that “I am the manifest Brahman,” at that moment, on the borderline. During the course of sleep, your transcendence is prior to mind, and continues during sleep also. If you fall into sleep reciting japa and at midnight you wake up, you will find that japa continuing. If you are alert, be aware of yourself and you will see light in the deepest recesses of your core.
June 11, 1981
Maharaj: What do you know about your body? What is it and what are you? Body is the form or shape. The taste of the food body is the knowledge “I Am”. What is your identity which you feel or experience in this body? Your words are all right but are you the words? You are wearing the clothes - but are you the clothes? There is no permanent form. The body continuously changes. So long as you identify yourself with the body, you will not have satisfaction. This is the space, I am not the space. You must have the firm conviction about your own Self. You