Physically unattractive, she was a thin, dark skinned lady with a dour demeanour. As she was not sociable, nobody approached her. In spite of all this and perhaps because of Bhagavan’s grace, I was always attracted towards her. I would sometimes enter the kitchen and sit next to her, but she would remain silent. Finally, one day, I told her, “Tell me about Bhagavan.” I persisted till she ultimately opened up.
She said, “Bhagavan’s silence was his direct teaching. He taught Self Enquiry to those who could not comprehend his silence; so Self Enquiry actually takes a secondary place as far as his teaching is concerned. He imparted his teaching of silence by his mere grace filled glance. This is the look that Muruganar and others refer to as his glance of grace. There was never a need to talk to Bhagavan. He made me mature gradually and steadily. All of Bhagavan’s devotees extol Bhagavan’s look of grace; however, even that look was an external expression of his inner silence. Silence was the state of Bhagavan and his direct teaching was only through silence. Those who received his message of silence had no need whatsoever to talk to him, much less a need for his instructions. How can I possibly express in words the mysterious working of Bhagavan through silence?”
I was not prepared to leave her in peace. I was drawn towards her like an iron filing to a magnet. I noticed that she was always tranquil and quiet. She did a meticulous job in the kitchen and never stirred out of it. I was insistent in my questioning. I always asked her, “What state are you in? You are not in a state of samadhi because you are very active. You are open eyed, yet in a state of silence. What is that state? Will you please tell me?” Sankarammal was not only astute, but stern. She was totally lost in her work. She did her work with great care and focus. She was never found talking to anyone. These made others avoid her, but it had the reverse effect on me. I was strongly drawn towards her. The more I became acquainted with her, the more I came to hold her in high esteem. I was convinced that she was an extraordinary person, and therefore I requested her to tell me the secret of her perfect equipoise. After several persistent efforts, she finally relented. She revealed, “I was myself puzzled at this inner felicity that I have and which is extolled in