Chadwick moved closely with Bhagavan. He did not take any action simple, small or big without consulting Bhagavan. Although Bhagavan never approved or disapproved verbally, all the old devotees of Bhagavan could tell from Bhagavan’s expression what his response was. If he approved, he would nod his head. If he disapproved, he would go into his royal silence. Once, Chadwick had a bad toothache. In those days, Pondicherry was the closest town where one could find a good dentist. He went and told Bhagavan, “Bhagavan, I have a very bad toothache. May I go to Pondicherry to have a dentist treat it?” There was that royal silence and Chadwick did not go. Within three days, his toothache miraculously disappeared. He told me, “One should always be in tune with the master. His answer is there. It doesn’t have to be a verbal ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If you adhere to that, then even if his answer is in the negative, a positive action of healing flows from it.”
As we saw earlier, Chadwick followed a strict regimen of meditating, reading spiritual books and sitting in front of Bhagavan for long periods of time. A six foot two inch man, he could not sit cross legged for long on the floor and used to struggle. Observing this, Bhagavan advised him to have a meditation belt. In his reminiscences, Chadwick writes about wearing a cotton meditation belt around his body while sitting on the floor keeping his knees vertical. With it, he didn’t have to recline on the wall or stretch his legs. He could sit for hours on the floor without any problem. From then on, Chadwick could be invariably seen sitting in a corner of the Old Hall wearing his meditation belt. Chadwick once told me that this idea was given to him by Bhagavan. I queried about why his reminiscences didn’t mention that it was Bhagavan’s idea. Chadwick replied, “I didn’t write it because Bhagavan told me not to.” I persisted, “At least you could have left a hint that Bhagavan gave it to you. That way, we would have had a glimpse without you directly disobeying him.” He replied, “I have left a hint, read it carefully.” On close reading, I discovered that Bhagavan had told Chadwick about how his father had used a similar belt. Though his father used it rarely, Bhagavan remembered it on seeing Chadwick struggle to sit on the floor and advised him appropriately. How meticulously Bhagavan looked after his devotees’ physical and spiritual needs!
There is another incident told to me by Cohen that Chadwick has not written about in his book. The person who was attending to English correspondence in the ashram office had to go away. Helpless and not knowing what else to do, my grandfather Chinna Swami called Chadwick and requested him to come to the office and take care of the English correspondence. Chadwick refused and went to his room. But his conscience started pricking him: “All of them, particularly Chinna Swami, have helped me a lot. But when he needed a little help from me, I refused.” When Cohen came in the evening, Chadwick told him about his dilemma. Cohen suggested that he go to Bhagavan and get his advice. On hearing about Chadwick’s dilemma, Bhagavan kept silent for some time. Then, he turned to Cohen and said, “Chadwick is doing Bhagavan greater service by meditating.”
Many seekers, as their meditation progresses, experience an intense and inexplicable fear. This happened to Chadwick too. He went to Bhagavan and told him about it. Bhagavan reassured him, “The fear is not for you. The fear is created by the ego and the ego has to face this fear. Ask who is facing this fear? When you ask this, the fear will drop off. The ego will bring in, particularly in meditation, many obstacles. Whatever the nature of the obstacle, immediately ask who am I? To whom is this trouble? To whom is this problem? It will immediately drop. And in raising this question ‘Who am I’, if you notice the silence instead of looking for an answer, that silence will dispense with the ego instantly.” Chadwick’s ripeness was such, that at the very moment he listened to Bhagavan he got completely rid of the fear. He never had fear in his meditation again.
Once, Chadwick was reading a book in which it was declared that one look of grace from the guru was enough to get liberation. Chadwick had a doubt, “If one look can give liberation to anyone, then why is everyone not liberated?” He went to Bhagavan and started telling him, “Bhagavan, this is what the scriptures say.” Not allowing him to go any further, Bhagavan uttered three words: “Coal, charcoal, gunpowder.” Puzzled, Chadwick asked, “Bhagavan, what do you mean by that?” Bhagavan replied, “The look of grace of the guru is always there and has the same power all the time. But, to receive it, the seeker has to have the same intensity and be on the same wavelength. That is why seekers are said to be like coal, charcoal or gunpowder. Coal takes a long time to ignite, charcoal takes less time and gunpowder ignites instantly. So, some seekers get it instantly, some seekers take more time and those seekers who do not listen to the teaching of the master and practice it, take a long, long time.” When Bhagavan told Chadwick, “Ask ‘Who