Mantra, japa, dhyana and vichara — all are different names only. As long as they require some kind of effort, we give them these names. When the goal is realized, they go on effortlessly. What was formerly the means now becomes the goal.
Some time later, Subbaramayya had a different kind of problem. He had been practising breath control as taught by Swami Rama Tirtha in his works. Subbaramayya continued the practice at a particular time every day. One day, he suddenly felt a terrible sensation as though his head would crack and break into pieces. In spite of stopping the practice, the sensation kept recurring at the usual time of his practice. One night, when Bhagavan was alone, he approached him with his problem. Bhagavan said, laughing, “What? Are you again seized by fear? These are the experiences that people have when they practise yoga without the immediate guidance of a guru. But you have come to me, so why should you fear?” Then in an undertone, Bhagavan added, “Next time you get that sensation, think of me and you will be all right.” These words are to be inscribed in our hearts in gold. Whatever form of sadhana you are following, whenever you are in pain, think of the name of the master. Subbaramayya personally told me that there was never a next time!
Subbaramayya was also told very clearly by Bhagavan how seekers should offer their prayers. Should one pray for mundane help from the guru or should one ask for spiritual emancipation alone? Subbaramayya had a daughter who was two or three years old. The child lived in the village and would often have fits. Once, she became unconscious and it seemed as if she would die. Subbaramayya sent an express telegram to Bhagavan declaring, “Bhagavan! My child, Indira, is suffering. Please help her.” As advised, he also called for two ayurveda doctors to come. At seven that night, Subbaramayya’s brother-in-law who was staying in the next village happened to bring sacred ash that he had received the previous year from Ramanasramam. “Apply this on the forehead of the child,” he said. The ash was applied and to the wonder and delight of everybody, the child was declared cured by the two ayurveda doctors who had also just arrived. The very next day, there was a letter from the ashram confirming the receipt of the telegram. “Bhagavan saw your telegram at seven in the night. Everything will be all right.” To Subbaramayya, it was indeed a miracle! During the next holidays, which happened to be for Christmas, he visited Bhagavan. Like all intellectuals, he too faced the problem of accepting what had happened. Subbaramayya questioned Bhagavan: “Did you think you should save my child?” Bhagavan clarified to him that even the thought of saving the child is a sankalpa, a desire, and a jnani has no desires whatsoever. The moment a jnani looks at anything, the divine force comes into action automatically. We only have to pray and hope that the master’s glance falls on an object so that divine intervention takes place automatically. Think of Ramana, think of Arunachala and at once divine intervention occurs!
Every time Subbaramayya visited Ramanasramam, Bhagavan would wake him up at two thirty in the morning and take him along with sub-registrar Narayana Iyer and Kalyana Sundaram Iyer to the kitchen. There, they would prepare sambar or chutney. Bhagavan would do the actual cooking, while these people assisted him. Whenever Subbaramayya saw Bhagavan perspiring because of the summer heat and the heat from the stove, he would pick up a fan to fan Bhagavan. Bhagavan, who never liked any special favours, would always say, “Stop!” Once, Subbaramayya crept up behind Bhagavan when he was deeply involved in the cooking and fanned him. Bhagavan noticed it and said, “So, you want to do it stealthily? Well, even that you are not able to do properly! Come, let me show you.” Bhagavan held Subbaramayya’s hand and showed him how to use the fan correctly. Subbaramayya said, “It was a divine moment when Bhagavan touched me!” They would then go to the next room to grind the chutney. Subbaramayya did not know how to move the pestle to grind the chutney. Once again, Bhagavan held Subbaramayya’s hand to show him how, sending him into ecstasy. After the chutney was prepared, Bhagavan would taste it and also give it to the others to taste. If their hands were occupied otherwise, he would say, “Open your mouth!” He would make a small ball of the food and pop it into their mouths. Subbaramayya commented, “I was in heaven when Bhagavan did this!”
Once I asked Subbaramayya, “What is so unique about Bhagavan?” Subbaramayya said, “One outcome of the originality of Bhagavan’s Self realization was that his approach to the problems addressed to him was equally original because his death experience was also original. He did not imitate. He did not quote from books; all his answers and actions were absolutely original and unique. His answers to questions were never bookish. They were simple and direct. Like Jesus Christ, he spoke with authority. His words were the result of firsthand knowledge and experience rather than bookish knowledge and hearsay.”